Getting out of my comfort zone… or expanding it
April 24th, 2006
i usually barely share my personal thoughts with many people. like everyone, i only share with my very close friends. however, what i found lately is that i started to share these personal feelings with people outside of my comfort zone, people other than my super close friends.
partly becos’ my issues are caused by my very good friends, so i m not completely comfortable sharing any of those thoughts with them…yet. i guess not until i m ready for it.
honestly, 90% of the time, i tried to solve any problem myself before i really talk about it with anyone. usually when i start to talk about it, i already got over it myself.
this time, it’s different, maybe because it’s something i can’t really solve by my own. so i asked for opinions and solutions. i turned to my parents, i turned to my very good friends from the other side of the world, the ones who have no connection with the group of friends i m having trouble with right now. i also turned to my colleagues. and, i turned to a friend that i know for a few years, but i wouldn’t count him as a friend: he’s more like one of those people you met at random times, i sorta keep in touch with him.. but very occasionally.
what’s interesting is that i started to share my personal feelings with him and his other friend quite a lot. i found myself telling him a lot… probably too much.
as soon as i started to look for outside opinions, i started to question myself – i started to feel bad cos’ i can tell this is a warning sign about my other friendship/social circle. i dun trust them anymore. i dun feel comfortable talking to them. i dun feel good about the whole situation at all.
having half of myself outside of my “old” comfort zone makes me wonder, is this really my comfort zone? why am i in there in the first place? well, is there really a comfort zone for me? why am i feeling a little more comfortable outside of my comfort zone? what’s wrong with all this? what does this really mean?
interestingly, he and his friend actually asked me if i still count them as my best friends? my answer was: “i dunno.” well, are they really my best friends?
am i really getting out of my comfort zone? or am i expanding it? or did i just hop to another comfort zone, and leaving that old one completely?
i know it’s not like i can weight a relationship. but part of my questions is that if i really leave this old comfort zone, and nobody cared. why on earth do i bother this much to even blog about it.