the last two weeks was rough for me; my brain was working too hard trying to figure out if i should attend the wedding reception or not. my mind was playing tennis on its own: i was going from a “yes” on wednesday to a “no” on thursday, and then back to a “yes” on friday – and i even ironned my skirt on friday afternoon – and then it swinged back to a “no” on friday night.
part of the debate was that i didn’t want to be regret for the decision i made. but then every time when i think about this, it got me into a really bad and cranky mood.
should i really be the person to feel regret? I do feel sorry for “losing” a friend like this. but, wait, i dun really regret for what had happened. from time to time, i thought – well, no one ever apologize to me. hmm.. that doesn’t matter anymore. harm is already done.
up to this moment, what bothers me the most is that how a friend who i know for almost 10 years could think of me and treat me as if i was a unfriendly stranger – cos’ i believe anyone would treat a stranger better than how i was being treated.
i m very, very disappointed about this so-call friendship and i m still angry about how i was treated. there’s no faith in between the two of us anymore. at least, i dun see any from her… honestly, i was only thinking that it was her communication skills or organizational skills that keeps her from communicating with me more effectively. but i NEVER, i swear, i NEVER thought of her like how she thought of me at all.
though i do take partial reponsibility for the fall of our “friendship,” as building a friendship, or any kind of relationship, does take efforts from both parties…
it is just sad, very sad that how it ended up like this. i do hope she had a great day as she is heading to another stage of her life. and well, i kinda still care even though i m still mad.
Lessons learned: Lack of communication is bad. Making assumptions without any verification on top of a communication breakdown is even worse.