i have to say that, the unfriendly emails are really unfriendly, in a way, they were even offensive in that my friend’s husband picked on a number of things, made a few understatements. i replied back with an angry email message explaining how it was unfair to accuse me for things that i didn’t do.

so, during the meeting, we talked about all the problems we had and how i was super mad about the way it was handled. all of us admitted the fact that there was a communication breakdown in which we weren’t communicating enough.

if it wasn’t another bridesmaid (another girl friend of mine) ran into my friend during dinner, i doubt if this meeting would actually happen. frankly, we were going to send out yet another “unfriendly” email to strike back. at least, i would since my friend’s husband, again, picked on a number of other things in his reply.

i didn’t want to keep whining about various things that i found unfair and how i was mistreated during this process.

in contrast, i do want to say that i am sorry that it had to turn this way – how the 3 of us had to back out from my friend’s wedding, which is supposingly one of her happiest moments in her life.

i struggled quite a little bit if i should really back out. my parents asked me to, my friends from the other side of the world said i should… but i still struggled. i was unsure. yet, another friend of mine said if she is my best friend, then i should be more flexible. but here lies a question i have to myself: if she is still my best friend… argh… i don’t really know. i suppose, both yes and no… or maybe no to be honest to myself. for one, just stand in my shoes and look at how she treated me. i understand it’s a lot of stress on her right now. but, still, shouldn’t she (or anyone) be a little more considerate?

oh yeah, and come to think of it, i might have lost this best friend few years ago already. i think it’s just too hard for myself to admit the truth. i didn’t feel as sad/bad until i had to actually speak of this on a phone call with another friend from the other side of the ocean. or… i didn’t realize how it might have actually happened couple years ago… maybe i m just slow. and how i kinda assumed this is the way it is – that we all move on to our own lives as we grow up. but losing a friend, and then admitting this to myself is tougher than i thought it would be. i didn’t really want to lose a friend, or officially claiming that i lost a friend by helping her with her wedding.